This is it. The end of week 2, and time to call it a day. I can’t keep letting each day float by while thinking that I’ll really get down to it tomorrow. With two weeks of the challenge already gone and not a single word committed to paper, I am officially a NaNoWriMo failure. It’s time to admit that it’s not going to happen this year, and give up.
It hasn’t been an entirely wasted experience though (not that it’s been much of an experience at all to be honest, the main issue being that I haven’t spent nearly enough time thinking about it). I’ve come up with a nice range of ideas which I’ve jotted down in my little notebook to hopefully tinker with at a later date. I would have liked to be able to whip one out and expand it into a novel writing escapade, but at the moment they’re all too vague and require far too much research to proceed with in challenge form. Maybe next year, assuming I actually succeed in planning something or even just expending a moment’s thought on it before the kick-off date, one of these ideas may well see me through to NaNoWriMo completion. But at the moment, pretending that I could still manage to pull off a 50,000 word novel while not actually having written a single sentence, or even having anything to write, is simply prolonging the torture of a quiet niggling panic (I’m well beyond the stage of feeling enough pressure to make me knuckle down and achieve something). It’s time to call it quits, assuming it’s possible to quit something before it’s even begun. I have learnt a few useful things along the way though:
1) Flying by the seat of my pants is not a good method for me. I definitely need a plan, and absolutely need to have a plan before the 1st November when the frantic typing begins.
2) Being too concerned about whether what I’m writing is good enough is crippling, and means that I’m unlikely to succeed in writing anything at all.
3) Beginning a foray into the world of creative writing with the expectation of being able to write 50,000 words in a month is a tad unrealistic, and most definitely counts as throwing myself in at the deep end. When combined with 2), this is almost certainly a case of biting off more than I can chew.
4) Failure’s not as bad as I thought it would be. I might not have written anything, but I’ve got a stash of ideas that I probably wouldn’t have come up with otherwise if I hadn’t spent so long panicking and looking for inspiration anywhere and everywhere.
5) There’s always next year.
Hats off to everyone who’s still attempting their NaNoWriMo, maybe next year I can join in again and at least make it a little further than I have now.